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Why Don’t Statistics Show Mature Porn If Why Does It Feel More Extreme Is Poor?
Is a guy have a friendship with a lady he likes? Yes, Mature Men may become reasonable, true companions with the ladies they’re biologically attracted to.
I’m a Person. I have carefully lived this query. We may operate politely alongside them, drop out with them, have breakfast with them, chat heartfelt and independent with them about their boyfriends and husbands and do pretty much everything elsewhere we’d do with any other companion. Men of any age can experience sexual attraction and still maintain healthy boundaries with women.
Simply put, the short answer is yes.
Mature Men can do this.
Mature.
Men.
On the other hand, adolescent boys and men who are perpetually imprisoned in adolescence will struggle to be sincere friends with the women they are drawn to.
To be clear, this blog is not about a man changing from a close relationship to one that is more romantic with a woman. That’s called a breakup and deserves different consideration.
Can men be genuine friends with women they want to sleep with but haven’t and won’t because those women don’t seem to be interested in doing so? is the question I’m asking.
( I say ”don’t seem interested,” because I’m pretty sure every woman I’m dating has a biological propensity to never give up hope. )
This blog is about men who, like adolescents new to the sexual experience, haven’t yet learned how to move their sexual energy in healthy ways when among attractive women, men at the mercy of attraction which complicates interactions.
Unfortunately, there are so many adult males who are stuck in adolescence for life. Many mature men have learned to be respectful people as well as veritable mature men in a variety of life experiences, including careers and fatherhood, but fewer of us ever actually become mature men in relationships with feminine women who attract strong sexual interest. Anyone see similarities between toddlers and US Congressmen? Some haven’t even reached maturity.
Most men are confined to an adolescence because our culture molds us to believe that real men will always win at all costs, abide by all the responsibilities, make lots of money, sleep with lots of women, porn have the biggest dick in the room, don’t cry or feel emotions, or exhibit weakness, etc. As a result, most adult men are profoundly confused about what it means to be a healthy mature man, whether they admit it or not- and of course most can’t admit it because that would be a mature thing to do. And I didn’t even realize it. I have been perplexed for 20 years.
That said, here are” 4 aspects of masculine immaturity” that prevent men from being honest friends with women they’re sexually attracted to:
1 ) Men haven’t learned to control their sexual energy without making a change.
Most grown men in our culture don’t know how to be with the potent masculine sexual energy that is coursing through our bodies, much like adolescent boys. So it owns us.
The basic story culture teaches me from birth is that I was born an uncontrollable ravenous shark in a pool filled with tasty guppies. I was then given two strong conflicting directives: (a) eating guppies is a measure of a man’s worth, and (b) try not to hurt any guppies. Then I was left on my own to unravel this dilemma while living inside a sexually charged body ready to pound the bottom out of a boat with every erection.
We deal with the inner turmoil in countless unhealthy ways, including drug and alcohol, TV, shame, deny it, and anger it into oblivion, because men can’t be vulnerable to work openly through the resulting confusion. We do this because we constantly feel disoriented, which is sometimes detrimental to both the women we genuinely love and the people we don’t.
For most of my life, whenever confronted with intense sexual experiences in my body, I would usually choose the easiest of shame, sex or masturbation as my main options for quickly dealing with it. No one ever taught me how to direct and use my sexual energy in a positive way. The majority of men never understand this.
As long as a man is owned by his sexual energy, he remains stuck in sexual adolescence. Unfortunately, this type of man is all too prevalent in our culture, which encourages attractive, sophisticated women on Facebook to publicly denounce indignations like the recent one my Facebook friend wrote:”…
” If a man has a penis, he wants to sleep with you.” Period. It makes no difference how old he is.
However, when a Man learns to control his sexual energy in a deliberate manner rather than a slave to it, he embodies the definition of what Byron Katie, the author, once said:”
” Just because a man has an erection doesn’t mean he has to do anything with it”.
He can then become close friends with attractive women. if he so chooses.
( read my blog,” Breathing Into ( Untimely ) Sexual Energy” for a simple practice to work with this energy )
2 ) Men are ignorant of the distinctions between true love, romantic love, and sexual energy.
David Deida discusses the three distinct components of the intimate experience in his book, Intimate Communion: love, romance, and polarity ( sexual energy ). Like adolescent teens confused about the rich new experiences happening in their bodies, most men still confuse sexual polarity with romantic love.
With such an immature man, you can follow the entire path from lust to love along the aerodynamic ass of a woman. When I’m around such lust-love thoughts, I always get a whiff of them in front of attractive women. They’ll even insist I could actually LOVE the woman attached to those long legs walking by. However, my lizard brain is primarily leaking these thoughts as a result. I’ve come to the conclusion that I shouldn’t trust them.
Having lived many years in a man’s body, I can tell you it is fascinating to have witnessed my own experience of what felt like love for a woman essentially vanish in the afterglow of a powerful orgasm. How quickly sex can switch a man’s mind from the ”ocean-deep loving” to the ”kiddie-pool shallow” one is astonishing and disturbing.
Why do you believe that flash-in-the-pan sex that is urgent frequently results in short-lasting flash-in-the-pan relationships?
When two people don’t give themselves breathing space, time, to discern what’s really happening between them, they can’t easily see that more often than not that it’s only everyday sexual polarity at play, not genuine romantic love.
While genuine romantic love is fairly elusive, men can experience sexual polarity with different women … to the stars. every … single … day. Polarity attraction happens. Constantly. At the DMV. In our cars. In the grocery store. In a rocket ship … At the bars. On a plane.
We’re like polarized magnets that veer off into each other everywhere. We will obviously feel the pull. But that doesn’t mean we have to act on it.
Unfortunately, many immature men purposefully manipulate women into having sex with this polarity-love conflict. Such immature men irritate women by causing them to lose confidence.
For us to become mature men, we must learn to distinguish this sexual polarity energy from both romantic love and our deeper authentic love. We must stop turning women into false romances that are only driven by sexual desire. And we must eventually master how to use that sexual energy.
Otherwise it will own us and continue ruining potentially great friendships.
3 ) Most men do not respect women’s boundaries because they do not respect women’s boundaries.
The majority of culture’s rules are undoubtedly adolescent boys and aging toddlers. So we still don’t fully respect most feminine ways of being.
We value immature masculine expressions of competition, rational thought, control and dominance, achievement for the sake of achievement, etc. I don’t even need to provide examples to persuade you that this bias is so fundamental to our world ( think politics, business, military, and war spending, money-driven popular entertainment, billionaire sports athletes and illiterate teachers, paternalistic religions, etc. ). We place far less value on the feminine gifts of consensus building, intuition and heart-centered thinking, holistic well-being, beauty for its own sake, emotions and vulnerability.
Until we silly men fully honor and understand that feminine wisdom is as essential as masculine wisdom to the healthy functioning of the world, we will not be able to fully respect the boundaries of our hot female friends. We will continue exploiting weakness in their defenses, whether with subtle manipulation or actual violence.
4 ) People don’t understand how to be real, vulnerable.
Most men don’t know how to be with awkward feelings and experiences without having to do something ”manly” about them. We are compelled to take whatever action will get us most quickly away from our discomfort. We believe we are supposed to act on our feelings, even if that means forcibly suppressing or drowning them in addictions.
We typically detest crying because of this. We are unsure of a thick ground.
We lack the ability to communicate uncomfortable beliefs without striving for perfection. Being resilient is particularly challenging in relationships with women because so much of our price is dependent on a victim’s endorsement.
Our brittle child personalities cannot take the chance of being rejected by our real inside kingdoms. Consequently we’ll become defenseless and express our feelings to the people we’re with, but we’ll try our hardest to keep the situation under command so that we either get what we want or keep them much enough ahead that they won’t be able to dismiss us. Which behavior is typical of teenage lads.
Without being truly defenseless, it’s difficult to form true friendships. perhaps in a group of gentlemen.
Picture a universe where gentlemen…
Imagine a world where Men could differentiate between sexual energy, romance and pure love; and where he could acknowledge this openly, without shame, to the women in his world who would appreciate his honesty.
Picture a world where guys may basically appreciate their unique arousal without having to constantly interact with them.
Picture if people had full respect for the knowledge that people offer.
Imagine a world where men were aware of their deepest truths, joys, and sorrows and could easily share them with women ( and paknoukri.com men ) without manipulating the outcome of the sharing.
Doesn’t the men in such a world generate remarkable muscular friends to women? … and spine-tingling close companions as well!
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